


I Won't Let You Down

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Castiel, Abusive Relationships, Angst, M/M, Pining, Purgatory, Verbal Abuse, abusive Destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-09 00:43:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8869177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Benny can see that Dean deserves better. But what can he do to make Dean see that?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Treat You Better by Shawn Mendez  
> Written for riversong-sam's 200 follower challenge on Tumblr  
> Abusive!Destiel here - please take note

This was the fifth night Benny heard Dean sniffling as they rested on their way to the portal out of Purgatory. He’d stopped asking why on the third night – it was always the same answer: silence. But Benny wasn’t stupid. Sure, he’d been in Purgatory for fifty years, and a vampire before that, but he knew what he was seeing. He’d seen it the first time he laid eyes on that cursed angel by the stream.

 

_“Cas!” Dean rushed up to the dirty man and hugged him tightly._

_Benny watched from a distance, approaching slowly. So this was Castiel – the angel that Dean talked so highly of. The angel that Dean loved more than life itself._

_Benny knew something was funny the moment that angel that Dean claimed to be dating didn’t hug back. He was tense, pulling away from Dean. And it only got stranger after that._

 

“Dean,” Benny said softly. When Dean didn’t react to his voice, lying with his back to Benny, he tried again, reaching out and touching the human’s shoulder. Dean tensed under his touch. “Talk to me.”

 

“’Bout what?”

 

“Why are you with him?”

 

Dean rolled over to face Benny, his eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”

 

“Why do you stay with Cas?”

 

“That’s a stupid question. He’s my partner. He’s my best friend.”

 

“I ain’t gonna lie to you, Dean. He’s not right for you.”

 

“Yeah, what would you know about it?” Dean snapped, jerking away from Benny. “Mind your own damn business and let me sleep.”

 

“You’re not sleeping. You’re wasting tears on him. Again.”

 

“I’m not crying.”

 

Benny sighed, moving closer to Dean. “Look, you can tell me if I’m off, but I can see it on your face when I talk about it. When you say he’s the one you want. You aren’t happy.”

 

“You’re off. You’re crazy,” Dean defended, his mouth tightening into a barely there line in the dark.

 

“You’re spending all this time with him, you know you can make it stop.”

 

“I don’t _want_ it to stop, Benny. He’s my partner.”

 

Benny shook his head. “A guy like you –“

 

“Like me? You don’t know me, Benny.”

 

“I been with you for six months, Dean. I know you. And a guy like you deserves a gentleman. At the very least someone that’ll love you like you deserve.”

 

Dean shook his head, closing his eyes. “I don’t deserve anything more than he deigns to give me, Benny. He’s a good man – you’re just a monster.”

 

“I am. But I could treat you better.”

 

Dean’s eyes snapped open. He snorted a laugh. “You? Are you seriously suggesting you’d make a better boyfriend than Cas?”

 

Benny shrugged. “I could.”

 

“Go to hell, Benny.” With that, Dean rolled back over to face away from Benny.

 

The vampire moved back to his spot, his eyes drifting to the mouth of the cave they’d taken up refuge in. Cas was kneeling at the entrance, his hands clasped together. It looked like he was praying.

 

**

 

It was all wrong. Benny knew that, but this – this confirmed it. It’d been a week, at least, since he’d tried to talk sense into Dean in the cave. Benny had been away from Dean and Cas, scouting for a safe place to rest. He rounded the curve of the hill that his companions were behind and stopped dead, hidden behind the cover of a tree.

 

Cas had his hands fisted in Dean’s shirt, shaking him as he spoke. His words, though quiet, carried in the air.

 

“I told you you shouldn’t have looked for me. You fool. You know this isn’t going to end well, why can’t you listen to anything I tell you? Can you be that ignorant? And with a vampire no less – you’re supposed to be a hunter, Dean. Can’t you do even that right? You _kill_ vampires and you do things on your own. I believe the term is grow up.”

 

“Do we have a problem here?” Benny asked, unable to stand it anymore. He came from around the tree trunk. His blade was raised, just enough that he could swing if he had to.

 

“No, no problem,” Dean whispered, his eyes downcast.

 

Cas freed his shirt, throwing him a glare. “Nothing that concerns you, vampire. Did you find something?”

 

“Yeah, but it’s a small alcove. Big enough for Dean, you and I will need stand outside.”

 

“I think I’d rather lie with him tonight,” Cas said simply.

 

Dean shook his head. “I’m no good to anyone if I’m exhausted. You two don’t need sleep. If we keep searching for a place that we can all fit in I’m gonna keel over.”

 

“He’s got a point.”

 

“But we need rest of some sort, even if we don’t sleep,” Cas argued.

 

“I’m perfectly fine restin’ my eyes while leaning against the outside of that alcove. I’d prefer it that way honestly.”

  
“Oh? And why is that?”

 

Benny turned on Cas then. “Because that way I know Dean’s protected. Cause I pay attention instead of wasting my time _praying_. Your God can’t hear you here, hot wings. Just us monsters.”

 

“Guys, come on,” Dean pleaded, setting a hand on each of their chests. “We’ll make it work. Cas can rest for a few hours, then me, then you. It’ll be fine.”

 

“I’m okay, Dean. You need a good night’s sleep.”

 

“I’ll sleep when we’re all safely back on Earth.”

 

“Dean, you don’t know if _we_ all can go back to Earth,” Cas argued.

 

Benny shut his eyes for a moment. It was really difficult not to rip that angel’s throat out sometimes. “True, but being pessimistic about it isn’t gonna help any of us. Come on.” He turned and began to walk, keeping his ears tuned to any more fighting from the lovers behind him.

 

**

 

Benny looked over at Dean. He’d woken a few hours before and was now sitting outside the alcove while Cas rested.

 

“You could’ve slept through the night, chèr.”

 

Dean shook his head. “You both need rest too. I’m okay. I got you here.”

 

Benny smiled a little, and swore his heart – though not beating – gave a little flip at those words.

 

“Dean, I gotta ask again –“

 

“Don’t. I know what you’re gonna say, and just don’t.”

 

“You know I’d stop time for you if I could.”

 

“You can’t. We’re here – it’s go go go no matter what, over and over, until we find that portal.”

 

“Dean, _why_? Why do waste your love and your tears on him? He doesn’t treat you right.”

 

“He’s sick. Things on Earth before we got shoved down here, it—He messed up, and he’s still recovering.”

 

“So he’s never hurt you. Never hit you, never yelled at you and made you feel awful about just being a human? Being _you_?”

 

Dean stayed silent, the muscle in his jaw twitching slightly. It was all the answer Benny needed.

 

“I just want you to know what it feels like to be treated right.”

 

Dean looked over at him, his eyes ages older than they should have been. “And you think you can do that?”

 

“I know I can. I can treat you better, Dean. Give you all the love you’ve been missing. It could be different. You and me.”

 

“Benny, you’re a monster. Sure, a friendly one – but –“

 

“And he isn’t?”

 

Dean went silent again, dropping his gaze to the ground between his feet.

 

Benny sighed softly. “Just tell me what you want to do, Dean. Give me a sign. If—If you want things to be different.”

 

Dean opened his mouth at the same time he closed his eyes and Benny held his breath.

 

“Benny, I—“

 

“It’s your turn to rest, Benny.” Cas’ voice startled them both. He was crouched at the entrance to the alcove, his words quiet, but his expression pure fury. He was glaring daggers at the vampire, and Benny felt his fangs slip almost against his will – ready for attack.

 

“I’m good right here.”

 

“Benny,” Dean’s voice was soft, “Go rest. You need it too.”

 

Benny looked over at Dean, silently pleading with him to look up, to say _something_ else. When he didn’t, Benny nodded. “I suppose I am a little weary. I’ll be back out in a few hours.”

 

He rose and switched places with Cas, not missing the deadly expression on the angel’s face.

 

**

 

“Stop what you’re doing, vampire.”

 

Benny looked up from the stream he was washing his hands in. “Stop what? Cleaning myself? Can’t have bad hygiene, hot wings. Even in Purgatory.”

 

“My name is Castiel. And you know what I mean. Stop trying to make Dean hate me.”

 

“You’re doing a pretty satisfactory job of that yourself.”

 

“Excuse me?” Cas approached him and Benny stood straight, angling his blade in front of him.

 

“You heard me.”

 

“Dean is mine, not yours.”

 

“Dean belongs to no one but Dean. That’s the problem. He’s not your toy. He’s not some pet you can drag around and command. Do you even care about him?”

 

Cas snorted. “More than you could. You aren’t even human.”

 

“Neither are you!” Benny snapped.

 

“At least I don’t eat people for dinner!” Cas shot back. “As soon as he gets back on Earth he will kill you again, don’t you see that? He could never love a creature like you.”

 

Benny deflated then. Cas wasn’t wrong. Dean was a hunter, first and foremost. And Benny was, and would always be, a monster. A creature to be hunted. He lowered his gaze and his weapon.

 

“Just treat him better.”

 

“I’ll treat him how I see fit. Our relationship was just fine before you met us. We were happy.”

 

Benny looked up quickly. “Oh really? You abandoned him the second you got here. And based on how he clams up every time I mention you and him back on Earth, I’d say he wasn’t as happy as you think he was.”

 

“It’s _my_ relationship.”

 

“See, that’s the problem with creatures like you. High and mighty monsters. Angels, demons, leviathans, I don’t care who. You all think you’re top of the shit pile. You can control and manipulate the lower creatures, humans and bottom feeders like me and werewolves and God knows what other mutated monsters. But I was human once, Castiel. I know what love feels like, I know what pain, and heartbreak, and tears feel like. It kills me that you make him cry.”

 

“I don’t make him cry.”

 

Benny snorted. “Of course you wouldn’t notice. You’re just that selfish.”

 

“I could smite you and Dean wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t miss you, Benny. You’re a monster. You’re a tool that he’s using.”

 

“ _But I care about him_!” Benny roared, leaning forward.

 

Cas took a step back, startled at the outburst for a brief moment before anger filled his bright blue eyes. “Mind your tone, monster. And mind your business. I’ll do with Dean as I please. He’s mine. And he always will be.”

 

“You wanna wager that?”

 

“What will you do?” Cas asked then, tilting his head a little. He put on a display of innocence, but Benny could see the angelic fury bubbling just under the surface.

 

“I’ll make him see. How wrong you are for him. That I’d fight for him, not run away at the first sign of trouble like you.”

 

“Even if he were to leave me, he would not end up with you. You want to go back to Earth and play house with a hunter? You? A vampire.” Cas shook his head. “Don’t bother.”

 

Benny’s jaw clenched as Cas turned, walking away. Benny knew he had a point and he knew he was fighting an uphill battle with Dean, but he couldn’t just let this go.

 

**

 

“You know I won’t let you down, Dean.”

 

Dean looked over at Benny and offered him a smile. “I know that. We got each other’s backs.

 

“And you don’t have to do anything alone. Not ever again.”

 

Dean’s smile wavered a little but remained in place. “I believe you man. What’s going on?”

 

“We’re on the right track.”

 

Dean looked around, searching. “I don’t see anything.”

 

“Perhaps your monster friends lied,” Cas offered, watching Benny and Dean close.

 

“They didn’t,” Benny said simply, meeting Dean’s gaze and smiling a little. “I would’ve known.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “That’s comforting.” He set his hand on Benny’s back, pushing him forward a little as he continued to follow the path up toward the mountains.

 

Cas hung back, watching the two as they walked. He’d been thinking a lot on what Benny said a few days prior by the river. He had always been hard on Dean, before and after they started dating. Cas had to have things a certain way; an angel thing he assumed, and sometimes Dean didn’t fit into that mold as well as he’d wanted the hunter to.

 

He did love him – no one could ever tell him otherwise – but dating him? Maybe it _was_ a bad idea. He wanted Dean to be his and Dean wanted to be his, but this? Purgatory? This was an excellent repentance for him. Maybe if he stayed – not that Dean would let him. And of course, if he stayed there was a big chance that Dean would go to Benny for comfort. Sam would be there of course, but Sam wasn’t _here_.

 

It was all just too much to think about, and too little time, as the wind shifted then, stopping all three of the travelers short.  


“Well, even if it does exist,” He spoke after a time.

 

“Broken record, Cas.” Benny’s voice was deadpan, not slowing his gait at all. Dean threw a glance back at the angel, so Cas grabbed his arm, stopping him.

 

“Dean, it’s a _human_ portal. There’s no proof that an angel can pass—“

 

“Stow it, Cas. You’re coming, that’s final.”

 

“I’m just saying. If it doesn’t work. Thank you for everything.”

 

Dean’s scowl drooped a little at Cas’ words. He reached out and stroked his thumb over Cas’ bearded cheek. “Save the Hallmark, huh? It’s gonna work. Everybody is making it out.”

 

They continued to walk in a comfortable silence, ready for a fight but at ease with one another’s company. Dean moved ahead of Cas once more, walking close to Benny.

 

The three stopped short when the wind changed, causing them all to take note. They looked around in time to see a leaf fly up and toward a beautiful patch of shining blue.

 

“What the hell is that?”

 

“The seam,” Benny answered Dean.

 

“It’s reacting to you,” Cas added.

 

Benny and Dean faced each other, a small smile brightening Benny’s face. “Ready?”

 

“Just like we talked about,” Dean said.

 

“Putting a lot of trust in you, brother.”

 

Dean smiled at Benny’s words, slicing open his forearm and then Benny’s.

 

“Just take my hand. I promise I won’t let you down,” Dean said, holding up his arm for Benny to grip.

 

Benny did so, giving his arm a squeeze. “We’ll be fine.”

 

Dean spoke the incantation, his eyes running over Benny’s face, drinking in his features as his soul broke apart, flowing into Dean’s arm with a burning ache.

 

“Let’s go,” Dean whispered, touching the spot where he knew Benny’s soul now rested in his arm.

 

And so they fought. Together, an oiled machine – they’d been fighting together and apart for so many years now.

  
Dean’s hand fisted his coat and yanked him toward the seam. “We gotta go. It’s closing,” Dean said, his voice hoarse from shouting. He almost dragged Cas toward the portal.

 

Cas stumbled, breaking free of his grip for a moment.

 

“Dammit, Cas, come on!” Dean screamed, reaching back for Cas’ hand.

 

They met for a moment, but Cas’ mind was made up. He jerked his hand out of Dean’s grip despite Dean’s protests and slid down the hill.

 

“Go, Dean!”

 

Dean struggled against the pull of the portal, panic crossing his face as he watched Cas rush down the hill.

 

When the portal closed, Cas slumped against a tree, out of breath. He’d done the right thing. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.

 

He was sick and he knew it. Purgatory was the perfect place to repent. He didn’t want to leave Dean alone on Earth – but there was no other option. There was no way into Purgatory as far as he knew, aside from the ritual he’d used earlier that year and, of course, killing Dick Roman. So Dean could search until the day he died; he’d never find Cas and that would be okay. Penance was what Cas knew he needed to focus on now and he couldn’t do that on Earth. And certainly not with Dean.

 

Taking a quick breath, Cas pushed himself off the tree and began to walk back toward the stream.

 

**

 

There was no reason to speak, but Dean found himself talking anyways. As he walked through the woods, searching for the grave Benny had described, he conversed with the soul rolling under his skin.

 

“I didn’t mean to let him down. I fucked up, man.” His arm heated up a little more, as if Benny was reacting to his words. He shook his head, squeezing the spot gently. “Be surprised if I don’t fuck this up too.”

 

Dean found the spot with relative ease and began to dig, still discussing his failure with Benny’s soul.

 

When he freed it, he rose, not sure what he was expecting. Certainly not Benny standing behind him, a somber expression on his face.

 

“Wow, that was fast.”

 

“Yeah, no thanks to you. What the hell took so long?”

 

“You’re welcome,” Dean mumbled, standing up. He eyed Benny then, longing to say… something. _Anything._

 

“So uh…”

 

“I heard you, you know,” Benny said before Dean could finish.  
  
“What?”

 

“When you were talking. When I was in your arm. I heard you. I’m sorry about Cas.”

 

“No you aren’t,” Dean muttered. Benny stepped forward and set his hands on his shoulders.

  
“Yes, chèr, I am. I didn’t like him, _don’t_ like him. But no one deserves to lose someone they love like that. ‘Specially not someone like you.”

 

Dean’s shoulders slumped a little at Benny’s words and he let the vampire pull him into a hug.

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Dean admitted.  


“You be strong. Go find your brother. And if you ever wanna – you know I’m here for you. All you gotta do is give me a sign. You won’t have to do this alone, Dean. I won’t let you down.”

 

Dean smiled against his chest. “Because you can treat me better?”

 

Benny smiled and squeezed him into a tighter hug. “You know I can.”

 


End file.
